How things got set in stone, and how to change them

Half the things making you miserable in life didn't even start with you. Find the origin; change your life! (Sept 27th 2026)

Many years ago, the communal place where I lived had cars you could use on a pool basis. The way it worked was that there were about 8 cars in total, and if you wanted to use one, you got your name on the list. If approved, you knew when to collect the car and when to return it. You hopefully also trusted it would be in good mechanical order...

On the day in question, I got the car for a whole weekend. I drove down to a remote resort town about 8 hours drive away. By the time I had just a couple of hours left of the journey, it was already pitch black outside, and I needed to make sure my headlights were on.

What very quickly transpired was that my headlights were set too high, meaning every driver in the opposite direction made sure to flash their light, signalling to me to lower my lights so I wouldn't blind them. What they didn't know was that it was my low lights that were causing the problem, not the high-beam ones!

These days, changing your beams is a fairly easy thing to do if you know where to look, but on them days, I certainly didn't possess the knowledge of how to fix it. What I ended up doing was the best solution I could have come up with.

Every time a car approached in the opposite direction, I would set my beams to high and then to low, so they could see that I wasn't being inconsiderate, but that there was some real issue going on. And this worked. Everyone got it, and I was the only one feeling frustrated that it had come to that.

I was thinking about this story when I was talking with someone about early life conditioning. This, in a nutshell, is the expectations, fears, inabilities, limitations and 'this is how we do it' that we get landed with from the day we are born.

(yes, the positive stuff too, like dreams, positive beliefs, ambitions, etc)

By the time we are 4, we already know what religion we belong to (or not at all), which religion is the worst, how we behave towards money, spending, and savings, if we eat healthy or any old junk, if exercise and nature are in our blood, or only things you get forced to do at school. We know how to treat people, and we know what we should and shouldn't be doing in order to receive love, or feel safe, or know that we are not the absolute odd one out. If we are the odd ones out, we start learning how to make sense of the unfair world we found ourselves in.

But the absolutely funny thing is that none of this is true for you. It may have been true for your parents, their parents and every other ancestor you have, but it doesn't have to be true for you. This is what you learnt from a tiny age old, but as you didn't set out to create these beliefs, attitudes and limitations, I will say this again - they are not yours, and you can 100% create a better life for yourself.

For that, all you have to do is be ok going against everything you've ever been told, and being ok being the one who is breaking a whole lineage's worth of dysfunctions.

See, other people will always make you believe you should follow everyone else. Heck, if they do it, so should you. Because if you don't, they'll have to entertain the idea that maybe this isn't right for them, too, but most people find that too much and prefer to get back in line as if their lives depended on it.

The point I am really hoping you will take away from all this is that despite what happened in your life, your past is just a guide, meant to help you shape your future. If you want more of the same, then you are already on the right path. But if you know it in your bones that you are meant for greater things, then today can be the day you turn over a new leaf.

What to do with all this?

If you're anything like me and most people I know, you'll need more than a one-time event to show you that you are not exactly where you want to be. The question now is how to get going down a path that is more intentional and that does, in fact, match your own wishes and wants.

And I think the first place to start is simply by becoming aware of what you have been carrying around with you.

- What are the things you believe because you were taught them?
- What are the things you do because 'that's just how we do things'?
- What are the things you are afraid of, even though you can't really explain where that fear came from?
- What are the things you have decided are “not for people like me”?
- And what are the things you would love to do, have or become, but have somehow already decided are not possible?

You don't have to change any of these things straight away. In fact, I think trying to change everything at once is probably another way of creating overwhelm.

Just start noticing.
Because once you start noticing, you can start questioning. And once you start questioning, you might discover that some of the things you thought were your beliefs were actually someone else's.

And this is where things get interesting. Because you get to decide what you want to keep, or what no longer fits. You get to decide which parts of the past you want to carry forward, and which parts can finally stop with you.

And to me, that's the real gift of becoming aware of our early life conditioning. Not so we can blame our parents or upbringing, but to realise that we have a choice, and in fact, without recognising the conditioning, we continue to be stuck. Now that awareness has come in, we can choose a new and empowered path on which to continue our journey.

Just like those headlights in my story, sometimes we don't even realise there is another way of doing things until someone, or something, makes us stop and look.

So, here's something you could think about today:

What am I doing, believing or avoiding, simply because this is what I've always known?

And then, perhaps, ask yourself:

If I had never been taught this (or if I was born to different parents or in a different country) would I still choose it for myself?

You might be surprised by what comes up.

With love,
einav

Introducing... 7 questions wonder

I thought it could be quite nice to share with you some of the people I value, trust and would be genuinely happy to recommend. So, without further ado, here's today's introduction!

(...and as my initial first introduction isn't quite ready in time, I'm going to take the first spot for... me!!)

So, here goes: 7 questions to help you get to know me a little better:

1) Tell us a little about you and what you do
My name is einav avni, and I'm an alignment coach and energy healer, using Emotion Code, Body Code and Belief Code (by Dr Bradley Nelson) alongside coaching and NLP. I help people explore and release the emotional patterns, limiting beliefs and internal blocks that may be keeping them stuck, supporting greater alignment between mind, body and soul. I'm based in the UK, just south of London. I work remotely with people from all over the world (and sometimes with their animals, too!)

2) What led you to do the work you do today?
I used to work in computers and IT, first in quality assurance and later in user experience design. At some point, I realised I wanted to work with people rather than technology, and became fascinated by the fears, beliefs and patterns that can hold us back. I started with coaching and NLP, then moved into natural and energetic approaches to healing, particularly supporting people with chronic conditions and other challenges that conventional approaches hadn't fully resolved. Over time, my work has evolved into what it is today: helping people explore the fears, beliefs and emotional patterns beneath the surface, and reconnect with greater alignment in mind, body and soul.

3) Who do you most love helping, and what might they be experiencing when they find you?
I love working with people who are open to exploring the fears, limiting beliefs and patterns that may be holding them back or interfering with the life they want to create. They're usually people who are willing to look beneath the surface, ask themselves difficult questions and take an active role in their own healing and growth.

4) What do you actually help people with, and how do you work with them?

I help people explore and release the emotional and energetic blocks they may be carrying, while also helping them consciously recognise the beliefs, fears and patterns that may be shaping the way they experience their lives. It depends on what someone comes to me for, but my favourite way of working is a combination of coaching and healing. I say 'coaching', but what we really do is a deep dive into the blocks and barriers that have built up over the years, and then we start taking them apart in a way that can be both profound and surprisingly fun.

5) What might someone discover through working with you?
I'd like people to know that we are equal participants in the healing process. I don't heal people; I facilitate the space and process for them to do their own healing. I create a safe space for people to explore new possibilities and step towards more empowering ways of seeing themselves and their lives, while giving them tools they can use when we're not together.

And although I use energy healing modalities, I often find that the deep dive into the beliefs, fears and patterns underneath the surface can be just as powerful, which is why I love combining the two.

6) What can someone expect when they choose to work with you?
They can expect to be invited to look at themselves and their lives from a different perspective, to question the fears and beliefs that may be driving their choices, and to explore what greater alignment might look like for them. Depending on what they come with, they may leave feeling lighter, clearer or calmer, but most importantly, with a deeper understanding of themselves and some new possibilities to explore.

7) If someone reading this thinks, “I'd like to know more”, how can they find you?
If something here resonates and you'd like to know more, reply to this email or visit my website: https://www.untangledhealing.c...

You might also be interested in...

Ufff... each of these is so spot on, but to be honest, not all of them should be attempted at the same time. Looking at this list, which one do you feel would be most beneficial for you to let go of now?

Some of these carry a few small decisions before you can see a real change. For example, number 10 and the need to be ready... You could already look at the difference between what 'ready' is (future-facing) vs what you have right now, and decide on 2 or 3 steps you can already do right now to get things moving.

No. 8, on the other hand, requires a little more courage and paying attention to when you are playing small, or consciously opting to do things you already know how to do and achieve.

In any case, I hope you find some inspiration here to start showing up to life differently :)

Dottie's Corner

Don't even!!!

There are very few things I absolutely don't like in this life, and having a shower is pretty much at the top of the list.

Imagine my horror when I realised yesterday was that day, and I had nowhere to hide!!!

Brrr! Good thing I was already able to get back into some good old dirt today. Being clean is totally overrated!

Ways to work with me


Heart Wall - half-hour session	Untangle & Realign: 2-hour 1:1 session	Energy Healing like no other
If you're tired of feeling tired, exhausted, unloved, or like everything you do is an effort, there is something you can do about it! Most people have a heart wall - made out of trapped emotions, hanging on to dear life trying to protect you. In a Heart Wall clearing session, we clear trapped emotions from this life, previous lives and also those which were passed down to you from your ancestors, or others.	A two-hour space to step out of the noise, understand what’s really going on beneath the surface, and begin letting go of what’s been holding you back. These two hours are deep and freeing, and part conversation, part healing. You may leave with a new understanding of yourself, a shift in perspective, and a sense that things don’t have to stay the way they are.	Whether you're feeling blocked, stuck or unwell, be it physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, my energy healing modalities can help. With the Emotion Code, Body Code and Belief Code, we connect with your subconscious mind to find out the root cause of your blocks, and then we release them. Easy, simple, and effective. You have to try this for yourself to see why energy work is the true medicine of the future!

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I work extensively with people to help them transform their lives from fears, limitations and compromises to harmony, alignment and joy, or in other words, helping people find natural healing to mind, body and soul.

To chat about your own situation and how my methods can help, please book a chat using the link: https://calendly.com/einav-4/coaching-discovery-call

einav x