How to find sense in this crazy world

A lot of the time, we look at what is out there to make sense of what is inside of us. Here's how to turn this the other way around...

One reason why I feel I am not so good with science is because of my contradictory need to understand concepts that make no sense to me.
Words like, atom, for example, are a concept I understand, but also one that means nothing to me. I can't explain it, and I wouldn't even know where to begin, other than repeating words other people have already created to explain it... I say 'contradicted', because I seem to have no problem whatsoever with abstract ideas found in spirituality, consciousness and similar...

I guess it's being comfortable with putting my own spin on things vs having to conform to something that is more universally accepted and where I can't use free interpretation to explain or use the term.

This was my conundrum when I was first introduced to the idea of VALUES. What are these pesky little things? Neil, my old drum teacher, was trying to explain it as the things you live your life by, but to me, this was not something I could follow, and I left it at that.

Later on, as I was doing my coaching and NLP courses, I finally understood what values are and why they are so important. Neil was right, of course, these are the things we live our lives by, the feelings we have about things which make them drive us this way or that. But in my studies, and later on experience with my clients, I saw how easy it is to have values and have them completely ignored.

This is, of course, what this email is all about...

If you search for the word 'Values' on Google, this is what comes up: "principles or standards of behaviour; one's judgement of what is important in life"

The three immediate questions that now come to mind are:
1) What are my values
2) How do I find what they are
3) Am I truly honouring my values right now, even if subconsciously?

Worry not - I am here to help you figure all these out for yourself in just a few short moments!

For this little exercise, I do recommend you bring a pen and some paper so you can write this down, but... You do you!

When you think about yourself, your character and how you believe yourself to be in the world, some words will pop up in your head automatically. The 3 words that used to pop up for me were honesty, kindness and generosity, until I realised that the generous part was stemming from people pleasing and as I found ways to put an end to the latter, it made the former a little obsolete...

How to find your values:
Sidenote: we all have values that are general to life, and different values for things like health, relationships/love, finance, work, etc, so decide for yourself which set of values you wish to uncover here, and change things as you go for the rest.

Let's assume you're looking for your 'work' values, to help you decide whether you are in the right job, or really, why is it you're so miserable come Monday morning (excuse the exaggerated assumption!)

So you ask yourself this:
What is a time when I was totally happy at my job? (or, life, health, relationships etc)
Memories will start coming to you, so write them down.
After each memory, find out what made the memory so happy (or good, rewarding, fun etc, as feels right).

For example, a memory that comes up for me when I think about a time my job was totally rewarding was when a client shared how a life-long illness had been reversed after several healing and coaching sessions together.
The value that made this moment memorable and meaningful was that I was able to make a difference, so ... making a difference is one of my values. Connection is another.

Ask yourself that initial question once, then ask it again and again and again, until you have a list of about 10 different values that feel right to you in some way. They won't all feel or have the same weight, and that's ok.

The next thing to do, after you've got your list of 10 is to try and order them in some way. For example, in my case, is honesty more or less important than kindness? And is Kindness more important than 'making a difference? Play with these until you have the order that feels right. Your number one value is the one that has the most weight and is the one that, at least in theory, drives you to make all your decisions concerning the overall topic you're now working on.

The next step is the one that brings most light-bulb moments, so make sure you do it.
Next to each of your newly discovered values, write down, as a percentage, to what degree you honour this value today.

For example, if your top value on the topic of work was a 'supportive team' but every day you come home needing to shake off your colleagues' toxicity, you might want to put a lower number next to that one.
And if you wrote down 'being positively challenged', and indeed, you feel every day is a productive and rewarding brain field trip, then you'd want to put a higher number next to that one.

The thing to do next is to find all the values that are on the list, but not currently being fully honoured (at least 70%), and write down some ideas of what you can do next, or instead, to make sure you are indeed following your values and living by them.

Too often, we move away from our values because we compromise and believe we have no choice. Examples?

- staying in a job you don't like because it pays the bills
- sticking with a prescribed medication because when you told your doctor it's not working, they reassured you this is the only way to keep this thing at bay
- living away from your friends or family
- not pursuing that old hobby or dream

When we live by our values, we have our compass back and everything makes sense again. If I can't live near my friends or family, maybe I'll find a way to create a new community for myself, or maybe I'll arrange more frequent trips. If my job is destroying my soul but I can't just get up and go, I'll find a way to learn new skills, get some passive income, start something on the side, or do anything that is not just getting up in the morning believing this is as good as it can ever get.

Especially when we feel that the world has gone crazy, this is the time to go within, to find our inner peace and what brings us joy and fulfilment. When we're solid inside, the outside doesn't have the same impact as when there's chaos on the inside...

Notes...
- Sometimes we can make better sense of this exercise when we do it with someone else. Find someone who won't annoy the hell out of you because they are too close.
- Sometimes a value comes through because it isn't there. So when you find a moment that was the happiest, you can also find a memory that was the scariest and figure out what was missing. For example, peace and love, if you brought up a memory of your parents arguing each night as you tried to fall asleep.
- If you want my help figuring out your values, then let me know. We will find a day and a time to sit together and bring all these to light!

***

This week in Healing Conversations:

This week in Healing Conversations, a repeated conversation I had with Casey Stevens, after Facebook changed their rules and didn't let me download it for you to enjoy! Here it is now - re-recorded and filled with wisdom and inspiration!

Today, in Healing Conversations, we’re joined by spiritual psychologist Casey Stevens, who shares her transformative healing journey—from deep personal pain to becoming a guide for others seeking true mind-body-spirit integration. In this conversation, Casey opens up about the powerful role of intuition, the importance of finding the root cause beyond conventional diagnoses, and how blending science with spirit can lead to lasting transformation. Whether you’re new to holistic healing or on your own awakening path, this episode offers both profound insights and practical guidance to move beyond limitations and live more fully aligned with your true self.

More about Casey:
Casey has over a decade of clinical practice working with thousands of clients worldwide. She is a Licensed Psychotherapist, a Master Certified Consciousness Coach and a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist. Beyond that, her intuition and healing abilities enable her to sense clients' unique energy patterns, adapting tools and techniques to support optimal organisation for the precise needs of each individual.
Casey offers a unique combination of behavioural sciences, psycho-education, quantum physics, clinical psychotherapy, intuitive energy practices, ancient medicine techniques and mystical studies to not only help, but to guide her clients to true somatic embodied healing.
Casey uses a blend of traditional and holistic psychologies to restructure non-productive patterns, honouring the complex and multidimensional layers of the human experience, helping clients to make radical transformations through conscious awakening.
Her specialised organic process includes: Invitation, Presence, Attunement, Release, Restructuring, Initiation, Activation and Fortification.

Social Links:
1)https://www.shrinkbigger.com
2) @shrinkbigger

You may also be interested in...

Many of you have asked for my recommendation regarding detox and other natural ways of healing. I am excited to share that I am teaming up with Dr Vani Moodley to bring a more rounded way of healing, bringing together Ayurvedic solutions to mind, body and soul.

Find out more about how Dr Vani and Ayurveda can help your healing journey in even more tangible ways!

Prana Wellness: https://www.pranawellness.co.uk/

Dottie's Corner

You may not have known this about me, but my first ever given name was 'Rose Petal'. When my HUUMANS got me, they were told by my then-family, that my name is Dottie, because of the white dot between my ears. My official name has been that ever since. (I say official, because I have so many nicknames my current family has given me, I wouldn't even know where to begin...).

What I wanted to say here is that sometimes our name brings certain attachments and expectations, but when you give yourself a new name (even if it is made up and you don't share it with anyone else, this name brings with it more freedom to be who you really want!
Think, as an example of Clark Kent, vs... Superman!! (see what I mean???)

Client's best quotes

People are always curious about the kind of stuff I work with my clients on, and so each week I bring a quote that helps share the healing wins people have after we work together.
If you'd like to know what we could do together to help you on your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual journey, then get in touch, here: https://calendly.com/einav-4/coaching-discovery-call

I've worked with people to help them heal all sorts of medical conditions - mostly ones the doctors couldn't find drug-free solutions for. Examples?
- Fibromyalgia
- Psoriasis
-Enlarged Prostate
- Cancer (breast, lung, Lymphoma)
- Colitis
- Chronic headaches /migraines
- Chronic back, neck shoulder pains
- Eczema
- Neuropathy
- IBS
- Sleep problems
- Thyroid problems
- Chronic Fatigue
- Long Covid
- Vertigo
- and so many more

To chat about your own conditions and how my methods can help, please book a chat using the link: https://calendly.com/einav-4/coaching-discovery-call

einav x