The road to nowhere

What is driving your insecurities? What's the story you're telling yourself, and now can't see it's there anymore? (Feb, 1st 2026)

The woman sitting in front of me is telling me a story about her mother-in-law and their constrained and rocky relationship. She is telling me how, for over 30 years, anything and everything that went wrong in her marriage could be attributed to the MIL.

A fair enough statement, you might be thinking, but if you've been a minute, you'll remember that we always like to get a little deeper than on-the-surface statements, so we can really understand (and release) this emotional baggage...

The woman continues. "I met my husband at a very early age, and we instantly knew we were a forever couple. But in our culture, it is accepted that the MIL asks the woman's hand in marriage from her father or brother, and she never did. It showed me she didn't accept me, and didn't think I was good enough for her son"

Despite living in different countries and only seeing the mother-in-law once every few years, this rejected knowledge played a very active part in this woman's marriage. Every fight, argument, insecurity all came rushing back to this common truth that she wasn't asked for.

A couple of years ago, she and her husband celebrated a significant wedding anniversary and planned a grand celebration in their home country. As they were about to take the stage, her brother called her to one side and told her that the MIL had just asked for her hand. This thing she has been wishing for all these years has finally happened.

She felt good, she said. At that moment, a huge weight was lifted, and she no longer hates her MIL. In fact, she only has good things to say about her, and peace is restored in her household.

**
I was curious about this story and wanted to figure out why this act of approval was so important to her. It's not that the mother-in-law was rude or unkind to her whenever they met, but this rejection was a story she made up for herself to direct her insecurities towards (no judgment there).

I mention all this because we all do it. We hold on to notions that allow us to continue with our fears and insecurities, and we don't question why we react in the way we do. We make assumptions on why people do things the way they do and what it must mean about us, and then we allow this freshly baked story to dictate how we show up, how we explain life to ourselves and also how we see ourselves.

Don't believe me? Try this for yourself:

Ask yourself these 5 questions:
1. What is a common thought I keep on having? For example, I am not appreciated enough
2. When was the first time you noticed this thought? For example, it can be 2 weeks ago, but more likely, a lot longer than that...
3. Who else is in this story? Mother-in-law? Spouse? Your childhood friends?
4. If I turned this around, when in my life have I not appreciated someone else? Myself?
5. What can I now see I can do differently to clean the lens through which I was looking and create a new way of showing up?

The thing is that too often we take our thoughts and beliefs at face value and don't realise how much damage these add to our lives. So are these negative thoughts true? Well, no. They are not. Every fear has a lesson and a wisdom it brings with it. Find it to dismantle the whole thing, or hold on to it and carry on hating...

The choice, as they say, is yours...

This week in Healing Conversations

This week, I chatted with Stephen Paul Edwards about his book - The Venus Fly Trap, and also about his journey from shame to freedom.

In today’s episode, we welcome Stephen Paul Edwards, international speaker, author, and PhD in spiritual counselling. Together, they explore Stephen’s memoir, "The Venus Fly Trap: Sex, Lies and Repercussions", a candid and often hilarious account of his journey through passion, chaos, addiction, and self-discovery.

From confronting shame and vulnerability to breaking free from toxic relationships, Stephen Paul Edwards shares how facing his deepest fears and releasing old patterns of victimhood ultimately led him to a place of acceptance, freedom, and profound self-love.

More about Stephen:
Stephen Paul Edwards is an international speaker and author known for his fearless explorations into love, transformation, and the intricate mind-body-spirit connection. Born in Blackpool, UK, and now based in Florida, Stephen has spent a lifetime delving into the complexities of what it means to be human. With a PhD in spiritual counselling, he brings both wisdom and wit to his work. His memoir, The Venus Fly Trap, is both raw and hilarious—a candid journey through passion, chaos, and self-discovery that invites audiences to embrace their flaws, let go of shame, and celebrate the wonderful madness of life.

Social links:
1) Website: https://vft23.com/
2) Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/venu...
3) X: https://x.com/stephen_edwardz?...
4) Facebook: https://shorturl.at/4oW1W
5) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/se...\
6) Tiktok: https://shorturl.at/qIgaT
7) Amazon: https://shorturl.at/umpg0

Next week in Healing Conversations

Next week I'm chatting with Jill Amy Sagar, an award-winning author, tarot card reader and channeller about her latest book - Guidance From The Universe, and a whole lot more!

You might also be interested in...

Remember Marika, who appeared on my podcast to talk about Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (CIRS) not too long ago? Well, Marika has recently published her book - Undiagnosed and here it is for you to purchase, if you choose to :)
Unaffiliated links to buy the book: https://shorturl.at/BL5bO
Link to watch the podcast interview: https://youtu.be/EXOVadAqPdw?si=Dwvmw_qjpWjDFJbG

The benefits of...

I believe in the power of natural healing. When medication is part of your path, nature still has a role to play. Thoughtfully chosen foods, herbs, and spices can gently support your body and enhance your overall sense of well-being

Dottie's Corner

This is me, having won, yet again the tag of war game, using my very own rope.
The game is easy enough to grasp. I hold on to one side, you hold on to the other and we each pull the rope in the opposite direction.
We must maintain eye contact and you must make pirate noises, otherwise it's no fun at all. The aim of the game is to see how far we can go without letting go...
A game of stamina and persistence... and just when you thought you have it all figured out, you let go of the rope and that's when my real game starts, and I wine and bark until you have no choice but to pick the rope again or run out of the room, in which case, I am running right after you!
Fun, right?

I work extensively with people to help them transform their lives from fears, limitations and compromises, to harmony, alignment and joy, or in other words, helping people find natural healing to mind, body and soul.

To chat about your own situation and how my methods can help, please book a chat using the link: https://calendly.com/einav-4/coaching-discovery-call

einav x