Why people get under your skin (partial explanation)

Or, are you really not good enough?

My HUUMAN was a little busy this week, and I said I'd write to you all with some real wisdom, for a change! 😝

It all started when her parents came to visit. Now you must know that this was the most awaited for event of the year, because they don't get to see each other as much as they want. They also have a lot of fresh grief and mourning to get through, which is easier when shared. Even I, as the Voice of Wisdom, agree and encourage that.

Anyway, first, there was a massive party for my most favourite HUUMAN - the one that shares my room and my bed. She turned 18, and the whole house went crazy (crazy good, I should specify..). She got a lot of wrapped-up boxes, but wasn't half as interested as I was in the wrapping as much as what they seemed to have inside of them. People are strange - I've always said that!

I helped as much as I could when it was party time. I did my best to bark and really scare off those shiny balls they call balloons. This was a lot of fun, actually, I made a lot of noise, but to be honest, they didn't feel as threatened as I thought they would be ... 🤷‍♀️

When the parties were done, it was the visiting grandmother's favourite thing to do - tidy up, and even better, as this is a recently-moved-into-house, help decide where things should go, while tidying up, cleaning, and telling people off for how much stuff they have and how they could fill up 3 more houses with what they've got... I actually know that at least one of these houses would be filled with my toys and accessories, so I knew to look elsewhere when the topic came up.

Surprisingly, this didn't upset anyone until later on, when they took a break to sit and drink that thing they call coffee and chat. The grandmother dropped a bombshell and announced she was done cleaning and arranging!!!

My HUUMAN was visibly shocked and this is what you need to get out of all this story, because even I knew it was the punchline!

The grandmother simply said that it's not what the HUUMAN was doing or not doing, it's that if it's not up to her standards, it is never going to be good enough. (And because she knows it will never be good enough, she's done).

Now, you tell me... How many times did you feel 'not good enough' and truly believed this was all your doing, and didn't realise that sometimes, it actually had nothing to do with you??

You see, in this case, the amount of stuff in the house or how tidy the people are could be considered totally average. To some people this will be a lot more and to some, a whole lot less. To some people this will be more tidy and clean than their place and to some, a lot less.

But when people have a problem and they make it yours, well, now you have a choice if to take it on or not.

My HUUMAN loves her mother and father more than nearly anything in this world, and knew to take this as it was, which was, not her story. She didn't take it personally or got offended, she just drank her coffee and allowed the conversation to move on.

She knew, also from her own experience, that the amount of loss her parents have already suffered is enough to get people to change how much patience they have for things in this world. And for me, as the dawg in the room, I knew that this was water off of a duck's back and that this group of HUUMANS did well in expressing all this rather than getting it all to explode.

The lesson of the story, here, I would say, is to pay attention to which lane the conflict is coming from. Was it you who generated it, or was it aimed at you, but not yours, as such.

It's Easter here, so I'm off to sit in the slowly-being-done garden. If you celebrate, then I hope it's a good one. And if you don't, then both me and my HUUMAN wish you a very wonderful week ahead!

Dottie and einav x

(PS: From einav this time: The grief and sadness Dottie is referring to is the loss of both my brothers - The oldest (Roy) died of cancer 15 years ago, and the youngest (Ira) died in a car accident 2 years ago. They are forever in our hearts. We love them always and miss them every single day.

***

You may be interested in...

A few weeks ago, I was interviewed for the @Ask Julie Ryan Show, where I spoke about the Emotion Code, Body Code and Belief Code and how I use them to complement my Coaching to help people heal physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

The conversation was fun and also intense! You can watch it here, and as always, if you're inspired to connect or book a session or two, the link to my calendar is below, too.
Link to the show: askjulieryan.com/podcast/619
Link to calendar: https://calendly.com/einav-4/coaching-discovery-call