Would you want to know?

To say, or not to say, that is the question. And if yes to say, am I actually ready? (July 12th 2026)

My younger daughter and I have been re-watching the latest season of Abbott Elementary (if you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it!).

In one episode, the school counsellor overhears Barbara and Melissa talking about how they deal with their husbands when they're annoyed. Their solution? The silent treatment. Not for an hour or a day, but sometimes for weeks!

The counsellor, representing the younger generation, gently suggests something quite radical: What if you just told them what was bothering you?

The next day, Barbara returns amazed. She'd finally told her husband about all the little things that had been frustrating her for years...
And do you know what his response was?
He had absolutely no idea!!

It made me wonder...

Why is it so much easier to stay silent than to have an honest conversation?
Why do so many of us replay the conversation in our heads, complain to friends, avoid the person, or quietly build resentment instead of simply saying, "Can we talk?"

I think it comes down to one thing: fear.
We fear rejection.
We fear conflict.
We fear awkwardness.
We fear that if we say what we really think, the relationship will never be the same again.
So instead, we convince ourselves it's safer to say nothing.

But here's another question...

Has someone ever said something to you, kindly and honestly, that changed your life?
Perhaps they pointed out a strength you couldn't see in yourself.
Perhaps they challenged a behaviour that was holding you back.
Perhaps they gave you feedback that, although uncomfortable at the time, helped you become a better partner, friend, parent or leader.

Most of us can think of someone who had the courage to tell us something we needed to hear.

So what if the conversation you're avoiding could become a gift rather than a confrontation?

Of course, these conversations aren't always easy. But they don't have to be combative either. Here are a few things that can help.

1. Set the tone from the beginning.
Start with your intention.
- "I'd like to share something because I value our relationship."
- "Can we talk about something that's been on my mind?"
- "I'm bringing this up because I'd rather be honest than let it become resentment."

People are much more open when they know your goal is connection, not criticism.

2. Talk about your experience, not their character.
Instead of:
"You never listen."
Try:
"I've been feeling unheard lately, and I'd love to find a better way for us to communicate."
It's much easier for someone to hear how their behaviour affects you than to defend themselves against a label.
(I know the alternative can feel a little f*rty, but the point is the important thing here - you are telling people how it makes you feel, but you are not criticising them for it!)

3. Be curious as well as honest.
Once you've shared your perspective, ask theirs.
You might discover there was a misunderstanding, a pressure you didn't know about, or simply a different point of view.
Remember, understanding doesn't always mean agreeing, but it often changes the conversation.

4. Accept that discomfort isn't the enemy.
Many of us avoid difficult conversations because we're trying to avoid uncomfortable feelings.
But discomfort is temporary.
Resentment has a habit of lasting much longer.

5. Focus on the relationship you want, not the moment you're in.
Ask yourself:
"If this conversation went really well, what would be different afterwards?"
When you keep your attention on the outcome you want, greater trust, understanding, or connection, it's much easier to find the courage to begin.

The truth is, every healthy relationship is built on hundreds of honest conversations.
Not because they're easy.
Because they're worth having.

As a side note, I truly believe in divine time and divine connection. It means that you were selected, out of all the people in the universe, to share this truth or point with this person. Not to make them sad or upset, but to give them a gift no one else could have, and not in the way you can. Trust your kindness to deliver this message in the best way possible.

Also, if the other person decides to focus on the messenger rather than the message and decides they can't stay in contact with you after that, then you know they need more time to reflect: on their way of being, on your connection and on their next steps. They may never go back to how things used to be, but you saved yourself a bucket-load of negative energy in one very needed conversation.

Good luck!!

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Dottie's Corner

I C-A-N'-T take this HEAT!!!

This is me, having melted in the coolest part of the house...

Send help!!!

Ice, chilled winds, pools and/or water games, whatever it takes, bring me back my winter!!!

(this is einav who has taken over, by the way, Dottie doesn't seem as fazed by it all!)

I work extensively with people to help them transform their lives from fears, limitations and compromises, to harmony, alignment and joy, or in other words, helping people find natural healing to mind, body and soul.

To chat about your own situation and how my methods can help, please book a chat using the link: https://calendly.com/einav-4/coaching-discovery-call

einav x